Fat killed my sister and from fear I lost 100 kg: a real story
Fat killed my sister and from fear I lost 100 kg: a real story

Roxanne Mullenberg did the impossible: she escaped death from obesity, even though it took her sister's life. Roxanne shared her story - and we believe that it was not in vain.

Fat killed my sister and from fear I lost 100 kg: a real story

“My whole family is people who are called" wide-boned ": I am 276 cm tall, and all my life I have been fighting with my weight. Because of this, I never had good self-esteem. I've always hated my body. My mother tried to cook healthy food, but, apparently, something was wrong in ourselves: we are four children in the family, and we are all fat.

At first I hoped it was age-related, and as soon as puberty was over, everything would be fine. But by the age of 18, I weighed 176 kilograms, and it was terrible. I have tried, probably, all the existing weight loss programs in the world, and none of them helped me. This was before the era of smartphones and mobile apps, and manually counting calories was tedious and unrealistic. I tried to switch to protein shakes and specially created food for losing weight, as a result, I ate three times more than usual and gained almost 30 kg more. I also tried to go to the gym, but it was too hard for me to move, an hour's workout did not work, and I was not capable of more. Probably, now many are laughing at me, but believe me: I was in despair, I could not help but eat, I could not even lose a couple of kilograms and seriously thought that the only way out was death.

My sister also struggled with her weight, and in 2014, at 39, she decided to have stomach surgery. An artificial bubble-filling was inserted into it so that satiety would come sooner, and the doctors convinced her that this way she would lose weight easily and without suffering. Only a few days passed after the operation, and one morning my sister did not wake up: she died of a blood clot formed as a result of the operation. She left a four-year-old son whom I adored and adopted: I could not allow Ryan to get to strangers. Probably, this became the starting point: I could no longer think about death, Ryan was with me, who had already lost his mother, and I would be the last creature if I had doomed him to another loss.

After what happened to my sister, I realized that surgery will never be a way for me to lose weight. At the same time, I understood that my weight was confidently approaching the 200 kg mark, and no fashion for body positive would console me, because I could not climb two flights of stairs. I didn't care if I was pretty or attractive at all - I just wanted to raise a guy who didn't have to blush and cry, who had already lost his mother - and all because of the damn fat. At the same time, I did not want to make weight loss and the topic of weight as such the meaning of life: Ryan ate fast food, I bought him fries and other burgers, because he had no health problems, and I would not want his peers to tease him when everyone buys pizza and he buys carrot sticks.

So several years passed, and at one of the family gatherings my mother's cousin came up and asked: "Do you have problems with the thyroid gland?" I was dumbfounded. I never thought about it, considering that since everyone in the family is full, there is no point in being examined, it's just genetics. Genetics-genetics, but he was right: we all had thyroid problems. I curse my stupidity and naivety, my lack of education, because my sister could live - if at least someone told her that she needed to examine the thyroid gland. Why, why didn't our doctor tell her about it? I signed up for a paid clinic and did blood tests. A day later, I was informed that everything was very bad and sad. I was prescribed therapy and a bunch of drugs, but … It didn't help. I felt pretty good, but I stood rooted to the spot.

The doctor told me that I could not survive without physical activity. And I signed up for - how can I explain this - a flash mob? Marathon? In short, people on a dispute took on the obligation to walk 500 km. Every week the organizers sent everyone an email with a short description of each competitor's run, and heck yes, I wanted to be one of the best! I wanted to walk 500 km before others, I got myself a fitness bracelet, applications on my phone, I started walking to the office (which is almost 10 km in both directions), and I won the damn competition.

Do you know what is most surprising? I'm used to it. I still work 6-7 km a day - simply because my body wants to move. I wake up and go for a walk in the morning, then I walk 40 minutes in the afternoon, and then I go for another walk in the evening. At 42, I learned to move and enjoy it.

In winter, of course, it is more difficult to kick yourself out of the house, but I decided that it was important not to give up here: if you give up the slack, and the fat will flood you. My goal this winter was to walk at least a couple of kilometers down the street every day to get some fresh air. In quarantine, we were sent to work remotely - and walks were covered with a copper basin, but I found a way out here too: I spent my working day standing as much as possible: I have to answer phone calls, and while I was talking with clients, I walked around the house, and just so, and from floor to floor. Then we were “released”, and I gave myself a vow: whether it rains, snows, sleet, hail, minus 20 degrees, I will walk, otherwise I will die.

Now I will disappoint about everyone who has read this paragraph. The weight did not decrease. I didn’t understand the joke about “they don’t lose weight in the gym, but in the kitchen,” but now I tell everyone: this is true. I found a nutritionist who advised me on a special dietary system, and I will describe it briefly, because I don’t want to recommend it just like that, I’m not a doctor, I just would like to convey the basic principle. I drink my protein shake in the morning; another one as a snack around 10-11 hours; a protein shake and 2 servings of vegetables dressed with oil (fats cannot be ruled out!) for lunch; followed by tea and a protein bar for an afternoon snack. For dinner, I eat strictly protein (for example, chicken or fish), 2 more servings of vegetables, and one more cocktail before bed.

Gradually, I will replace cocktails with natural food, observing the balance of KBZHU. The key is not to buy semi-finished products, as you will never check to see if the truth is on the label. Prepare yourself, weigh EVERY bite of food yourself, keep a food diary yourself. Are you bored and sick already? I understand, me too. But if you want to live, you will.

I started my journey in February 2020, weighing 180 kg. Now I weigh 90 kg - half that. I dropped - attention - 10 clothing sizes. I stopped needing pressure pills: it stopped jumping and I forgot about debilitating headaches. My knees no longer ache or crunch.

Ryan is now 11 years old and wants us to ride a bike together, so my next goal is to finally learn how to use this two-wheeled scum (it never occurred to me to learn to ride a bike because of my weight). I used to think that runners are crazy - why would you run if you are not being chased by a maniac? Don't you have a sofa? Now I think about how much faster I would get in shape if someone told me what kind of rubble fat would turn me into. Today my goal is to run 5 km. In a year I hope to run a marathon, this is a bold statement, but somehow I think I can.

Why did I write all this? In memory of my sister. I love you honey, and Ryan and I will never forget you. I am alive thanks to you, and I will live a long time, I will do everything for this.

And you friends, get up and go, run, pedal, and throw away the fries. Believe me, life is worth it."

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