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You can not do it this way! How do you know if your partner is an abuser?
You can not do it this way! How do you know if your partner is an abuser?

What do you think about when you hear the phrase "domestic violence"? The fact that a vulnerable woman got into a long relationship in which she is constantly beaten and humiliated by an aggressive partner and she is afraid to run away, because he will find her - and it will become even worse? Yes, this is one of the options for such a relationship, but far from the only one: violence can have different forms and content. And everything is much more serious than you can imagine.

You can not do it this way! How do you know if your partner is an abuser?
You can not do it this way! How do you know if your partner is an abuser?

Sad statistics

British Cosmopolitan, together with the women's aid organization Women’s Aid, surveyed over 122,000 women about their past and present relationships. 34.5% - more than a third! - women reported domestic violence. But even worse is the fact that among those who said that all their relationships were normal, almost two-thirds (63, 8%) noted at least one manifestation of abusive behavior on the part of their partner.

Here are the most common options:

  • visiting personal pages in social media with a username and password without permission,
  • criticism of behavior in social networks (composition of friends, likes and comments to other people's posts),
  • the appearance of a partner without warning where the geotag is placed, in order to check who you are spending time with,
  • a ban on communicating with people who are important to you,
  • offensive comments and messages,
  • coercion into sex or showing candid photos,
  • physical violence.

Domestic violence can take any form, from emotional humiliation to financial manipulation, from endless control to sudden checks. In this case, there may be no physical impact, which, however, does not remove the guilt from the partner.

You don't have to notice anything

“He told me that I was useless, fat and fit only for sex,” says one respondent who did not believe she was in an abusive relationship. Another describes how she was bullied verbally, physically and sexually, but does not admit that there is something wrong with the relationship.

Abusers are often cunning. Checking your phone, making sudden appearances, criticizing you and your friends are clothed in endless concern for you, called expressions of love. As a result, many begin to believe that since he does not hit - and is normal, inferior - but his own, and do not dare to change.

How do you notice all this? You need to be on the lookout and notice if your partner's behavior goes overboard. And this applies not only to their relationships, but also to the romances of friends, the relationship of parents and other loved ones. More than half of the British women surveyed said that they were forced to have sex (especially anal), publicly humiliated, and forbidden to meet with friends and family.

By themselves, these manifestations of violence and aggression may seem small and insignificant, but if you compose a whole picture of the partner's behavior from them, everything becomes clear. And you don't have to endure it! You need to look for help - and preferably in secret from a person who may not stop at anything if his "tame animal" wants to break free.

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