Table of contents:
- You can go to bed when it is convenient
- You get up when you want
- Your sleep will be stronger
- Sex will get brighter
- One less reason to fight
People love to surround the simplest things with myths. For example, many are convinced that if partners sleep in different beds (or even in different rooms!), Then this is a sign of cooling in the couple. It means that something is going wrong with them, since they are not very comfortable sleeping next to each other. The truth is, it can be uncomfortable for a hundred different reasons, and the decision to sleep separately will be the best thing that ever happened to a couple.
According to a study conducted in the United States (albeit quite ancient - as early as 2005), about 60% of partners sleep together. True, this number is decreasing. In 2017, the National Sleep Organization conducted a survey finding that one in four couples preferred separate sleep. Throughout history, the stigmatization of shared and separated sleep has been reversed. Most of the world's population lived together not only with their spouses, but also with their parents, grandmothers, grandfathers, children … It was normal for the children to spend the night in the same room where their parents sleep. Only "high society" - people living in prosperity, privileged strata of the population - could afford separate beds and bedrooms.
But today it is the separate sleep that is stigmatized. It is considered a sign of discord, quarrel, disharmonious relationship. There is a belief that happy couples do not want to part with each other, even at night. Here are the most obvious reasons to sleep separately if you feel like it.
You can go to bed when it is convenient
If you and your partner do not have the same sleep and wake periods, this can be a serious challenge for the relationship. For example, if you like to sit up late with a book under the covers, and your partner goes to bed as soon as it gets dark, it will be better if you spend this time in different rooms.
He may feel that he is not at all bothered by a burning floor lamp next to where you are, but in fact, sleeping in the light is not such a good idea. This can disrupt the circadian rhythms that regulate the alternation between wakefulness and sleep. Any artificial lighting, whether it be the backlight of the phone or the flashing of the TV, disrupts the balance of cortisol, and a person's sleep deteriorates.
You get up when you want
Another obvious advantage is getting up at the very moment when you feel the need. Perhaps you are familiar with the state when you wake up on Saturday and it seems to you that you have slept, but your partner is sniffing nearby, and you decide to sleep a little more - he is asleep. It will be much better not to focus on your partner in this sense, but to get up when you feel refreshed.
The second important point is that if your partner gets up much earlier than you (or vice versa), while you go to bed late and are used to working at night, you will be annoyed that he rustles, rattles, slams cabinet doors. It would be much more convenient if you could sleep your few hours without being disturbed by his fuss.
Your sleep will be stronger
David Bennett, a certified counselor and author of seven self-help books, says partners who sleep together wake each other up on average six times a night. You may not even notice how you wake up every time your partner twirls, snores, or gets up to drink water. But these micro-awakenings prevent you from establishing healthy sleep.
It does not benefit your health or the health of your relationship. The better you get enough sleep, the better you feel, which means you have more energy.
Sex will get brighter
If you are afraid that a separate sleep will kill your libido, then we hasten to reassure you. The opposite is likely to happen. Many married couples who have been together for a long time have so-called default sex. For example, you know you do this every Friday because you both feel comfortable. And if there is no sex on Friday, both of them feel out of place. You are embarrassed to refuse, because you seem to have unspoken agreements …
While scheduled sex can be one of the best choices for your family, it can also destroy your drive. In general, if you have default sex in a couple and you want to give up this practice, sleeping separately will give you that opportunity. Sex will become brighter and more festive when you kind of come to visit each other, thereby demonstrating the intention to make love.
One less reason to fight
There is nothing worse than swearing in bed. This is a place to sleep and sex, not to fight! If your partner or you have a habit that prevents you from falling asleep (he snores or pulls off the blanket), sooner or later this bomb will explode. It is impossible to stand on tiptoe all your life, it is impossible to adjust to other people's habits all your life that interfere with your comfortable life. Instead of reshaping your partner for yourself or trying to come to terms with the inevitable, finally buy another sofa.