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Are you attracted to traditional values? Do you want to get married and become a housewife? Taking care of your husband, giving birth and raising children, creating a cozy atmosphere in the house and baking pies? All these are very laudable desires, of course, except that no one guarantees you that it will always be this way. It can end very, very badly.
What is a traditional family?
If we are talking about the traditions of our closest ancestors, then a traditional family is just a family consisting of two adults and minor children. Our parents and grandparents had such families. Actually, we have not gone anywhere from this convenient model either: we have other options, but these are, rather, exceptions that prove the rule. We still see a family like this, which is probably a good thing.
The problem is that this is not a traditional family at all, because the tradition of living in such a composition is too young - only a few generations, there is nothing to talk about. A true traditional family is a patriarchal family. The one in which several generations of relatives lived together, ran the household together and raised children. The one in which a strict hierarchy was observed. The one, the head of which was a man - a man, to whom both women and children and the elderly obeyed. Today we cannot afford to live in such a mini-community, and we don’t want to. It seems to us that several generations under one roof is too much. We understand that there is no point in dragging a tradition into the modern world that will ruin our lives: live in a metropolis with mom, dad, great-grandmothers, uncles, aunts and other seventh water on jelly - you will go crazy from what is impossible to be alone. So why do we quite reasonably deny the possibility of living in a traditional family now, but try to return the position of "man is in charge" to a modern family?
No, you definitely don't want to live like your great-great-great-great-grandmother
A traditional family could not exist without a man, not at all because housekeeping is impossible without brute male power. It is possible, although it is unusually difficult. The point is not that a woman is weaker, the point is that a woman quite recently, in principle, was not considered a full-fledged person. The patriarchal society firmly believed that "a chicken is not a bird, a woman is not a man." A man is a bridge between a woman and a society in which she had no rights. A man is protection: yes, a husband could beat his wife (and most often he did), but she was at the very least protected from other men. If a woman did not have a man, she actually had no more rights than an animal. And her daughters, by the way, too. Imagine that at any moment a person from the street can enter your house and rape you - and he will not get anything for it, you are a lonely woman, who needs you? This is what the world looked like in the era of the traditional family. The evolution of a woman in cinema: housewife, cutie, careerist, superheroine.
Why does a man need a "traditional family"?
What does the world look like now? Without going into details, in general, men and women have equal rights. You have an education, you have a job, you have the right to dispose of your property, and you are protected by the law. Why do you need a man? To love him and create a family with him, everything is correct. If you feel like it. But why on earth should a man be her "head"? Is he more educated? No. Does he have opportunities that a woman does not have? No. Does he earn more? Is not a fact. On what basis does a man seek to gain any advantages over you?
We answer: on the simple reason that he is a lazy and arrogant type. On the grounds that he decided to get a free servant in the person of a woman. Amazingly, many women are still convinced that the household is their concern. Why on earth? The majority of the country's population lives in large cities, and the working day for the majority looks exactly the same: public transport, a day at the office at the computer, public transport again. You work the same way, so why on earth should you get up "to the machine" on the second shift? Clean, cook, wash and iron while this torso is playing Tanchiki. And then you have to put yourself in order, because "you are a woman," and in general, you will not be a beauty - he will leave you, despite the borscht. Well done, huh?
Why does a woman need a "traditional family"?
Let's see what you get in return: oops, nothing. In fact, you only need a man at the moment when you decide to have a child. Unfortunately, not every salary allows you to hire a nanny, which means that you will live on your husband's money until you return to work. And by this moment he will reproach you, and will also demand that you serve him better: "You are sitting at home!" The fact that the child is actually your overall project is not taken into account. Children are a woman's business. The gentleman is tired, he has no time for it.
If you are now indignant and thought: "What nonsense, mine is not like that!" - it means that you are very, very lucky. Or it means that you are just playing in a traditional family, and the husband is the "head" only in words, but in fact you can send him out with his things at any moment, and he knows it. Knows and does not become impudent. He is the same "head" as you are a Spanish pilot.
But many women choose for themselves the role of wife, mother and housewife. Have the right, why not? This is a conscious choice and a conscious risk: even if a man is the most faithful husband in the world, this does not guarantee anything. He could lose his job. He can get sick. Humans are mortal and, most importantly, they are suddenly mortal. To be left alone with children in her arms, without work experience, or maybe without a profession is scary, but if you want to take a chance, why not? This family model implies a very simple division of responsibilities: he makes money, she provides everything else. This is convenient, especially if the couple is planning to have more than one child. But the fact is that children are no longer an additional labor force and are not a guarantee of a well-fed old age. Children today are the highest value for parents. Who said that a man’s work is more important than a woman’s work? Who said that a man should be in charge on the grounds that he contains everyone? Yes, a woman, of course, must fulfill her duties - if she voluntarily assumed them. But why on earth should she be "number two"? Not with any.
Where is the trap?
That is why you should be wary of a man's reasoning about the traditional values of the family. And before you connect your fate with a man who strives for "traditions", think: what is behind this? It's good if he means by this a strong family and children. And if he is going to be "head and patriarch" - do you know where this will lead? To the fact that you will work, and then intricately kill yourself in the field of the household. To the fact that raising children will fall on your shoulders completely. To the fact that they will reproach you with a piece of bread while you bear and educate these very children. Besides, during this period you will have to beg for money for a new lipstick - and it’s good, if not for pads. To the fact that at the same time you will live in fear: well, how will he leave you? This is what the “traditional family” looks like in the modern world.
Fortunately, we also have just a family. An equal union of two people who love each other. And this union, by the way, does not at all make you the same. Equal - yes. But femininity and masculinity do not disappear anywhere. This must be remembered when they sing to you about "traditions" again.