Dark Shadows: How to Erase Tough Memories of the Past
Dark Shadows: How to Erase Tough Memories of the Past

Does the past prevent you from living? Do unpleasant memories keep you from letting go and let you breathe freely? Now we will tell you how to get rid of them.

Dark Shadows: How to Erase Tough Memories of the Past
Dark Shadows: How to Erase Tough Memories of the Past

First you need to clearly formulate for yourself what exactly we want to part with. The wording “I want to let go of the past” should be overgrown with concrete and very visible details.

Letter of happiness

If your negative feelings towards someone are very strong, write that person a letter. You can use a computer, but a notebook and pen will work better. State everything you think about him and his behavior, and describe your feelings as fully as possible. If the letter is very long, don't be confused by that. And in expressions you can not be ashamed, because you will not send it (this is why a notebook is better than a computer file - otherwise you may be tempted to send a message to the addressee after all). You can write a letter for several days, re-reading what has been written and adding something until you realize that there is nothing more to say. After that, take the notebook out into the street and burn it, watching the smoke of your evil feelings go into the sky.

Point of no return

Imagine in detail the figure of the person you want to say goodbye to. Look closely at it, and then visualize how slowly you move away from it. There are many options here: you can go on foot, leave in a car that turns a corner. Or leave that person on the platform and take the train, watching him shrink and disappear from your life. Pay attention to how you feel when the dot disappears. If lightness and liberation, then everything is going right. This technique helps to say goodbye to a group of people, and even to a place. For example, you want to forget about your former job and those who shared the abandoned office with you. You can imagine on the platform of your colleagues the building itself where you worked, if it symbolizes unpleasant moments for you.

Higher and higher

Buy a balloon filled with helium. Write on it: "I let you go, …" In place of the ellipsis should be written a name, title, or - perhaps such - a feeling. For example: "I let you go, my anger." Or: "Goodbye, Petya." Then release the ball in the street. If you like magic rituals, you can do it exactly at New Year's midnight.

Author's column

On one page of your notebook, write down all the significant events, meetings, achievements, feelings, victories, failures and problems of this period. Divide the other page in half and write over one column, "Leaving in the past", and over the other, "Taking into the future." Fill out this plate. In the first column it is better to write not the names of people, but the feelings that they evoke in you: not “Ivanov”, but “Resentment against Ivanov”, not “Egorov”, but “Envy of Egorova”. Then, if you want, cut off the column "Past" and burn it, and wash the ashes down the sink.

What are we talking about?

If you have a good girlfriend or boyfriend, they can help just by listening to your story. It doesn't matter that you've done it a thousand times, and your friend tried to give advice that you didn't want to follow. Let this time she just be silent and listen, and you once again tell everything from the very beginning. About what happened, how you felt then and what you are experiencing now. And, of course, how you would like to say goodbye to all this. Let there be no advice, no supporting words, no answers to your questions - just understanding. In the course of the story, you may get irritated and even angry with the silent interlocutor. Warn in advance that you can say something offensive - do not be angry. When you complete the monologue, it becomes easier.

Sorry, goodbye

Take a piece of paper and write on it the names of everyone who upset or hurt you (and you still remember this). When writing down the name, say it out loud and remember what this person did to you. Take the next sheet of paper and write the same names again, and then after each write out the phrase, also saying it aloud: "I forgive you." Listen to your inner feelings: someone will be able to forgive, someone will not, but in any case, the list will decrease. It is advisable to use this technique only when you assume that you no longer feel strong anger towards most of these people and are really ready to sincerely forgive them. Therefore, it is better to complete this task after you have already tried the rest and understood something about yourself.

Learn to wait

The past is so arranged that it rarely goes away by itself. There is a work going on inside you with what you would like to let go, and until this work is completed, you will not be able to part with the past. You can hear from friends and say to yourself words like “stop suffering already,” “stop living in the past,” “just forget it and that's it,” but these imperative verbs do not help: you cannot make a bruised leg stop hurting right away. The reasons that it is difficult for you to let go of the past may be associated with very distant events that you cannot immediately remember. Therefore, “techniques of saying goodbye to the past” can be the first step towards renewal. Even if you're not ready to go deeper and work with a psychologist just yet, first learn to wait and let the past say goodbye to you when it does its job.

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