Parental rigor is capable of suppressing and breaking an impressionable child; at the same time, the less vulnerable child, who initially needed more discipline, sometimes feels grateful for the Spartan upbringing. The young author of the Cosmo overseas issue believes that her tough mother created her character. And what do you think: "I got it - well, let it, just got stronger" or does severity cripple and deprive a person of the ability to make independent decisions, to take important life steps himself?
Mom loudly and displeased called me from the next room, but the disgruntled teenager living in me ignored her screams. Screams were not uncommon in our house, but in principle, my mother brought us up quite traditionally. In the end she got tired of calling me; she came to my room and demanded that I immediately start packing for the trip to college.
“Don't fuss, I still have two weeks,” I replied, not even bothering to look up from my laptop. She left to resume this battle to collect the suitcase later. But it was then that I realized that my parents never shared parenting responsibilities equally. My mom is a "bad cop" - she went to all parent-teacher meetings. For years she made my brother and me sit at the table until we finish our lessons, despite our tears and cries of "I hate you!"
On the other hand, my dad was the one who gave me pocket money every time I went out with friends, or handed me a credit card when I wanted to buy clothes from the online store. My brother and I have learned not to pester my mother with material requests. But we turned to her on all other issues. If I didn’t have the strength to sit out until the end of the lessons, she called me without question and told me off. Whenever my brother and I got a "bad" grade - four, we were afraid of the mother, not the father. One day, the brother even ran away from home after receiving four, he was so afraid that his mother would yell at him. She was so worried about our grades. Her children did not dare to regard the "good" grade as normal.
My parents are married, and my dad lives with us, but is not very involved in our life. He doesn't help with lessons, but he doesn't punish us either - he just doesn't know how. He always allows his mom to do this: she forbids his brother to play with the Xbox until the school year is over, and dad allows him with the words: "Just don't tell mom." Most would decide that I feel closer to my dad because he indulges me, but this is absolutely not the case. In fact, I feel more resentment towards my father than my mother. He's a good dad and I love him. But he was always more of a "good cop".
My mom sent me to college. My mom goes out and buys me tampons when my period starts. My mom is the person I go to with all my problems. Therefore, the "bad cop" is loved no less and outraged no more. As a child who grew up in a family where one parent pampers, and the other keeps it strict, I am more offended by the one who pampers. I love both of my parents, but my strict mom made me who I am. And, frankly, I cannot imagine myself as someone else. I'm 18, a published writer and a student at a prestigious liberal arts college. And it's all thanks to my mom, the bad cop.
